A letter to my younger and formerly crazy self

I recently flipped through my old, dusty writing journals, the ones that hold my rants from when I was in my 20s. And, in the words of the oh-so-wise-one Oprah Winfrey, “I could weep for the woman I was.”

No, really, I could get down in the fetal position and just bawl for that chick. She was so caught up in the ‘here and now’ that she was paralyzed and incapable of looking toward the future.

So, in order to put closure on that era of coo-coo and celebrate my emergence from it, I decided to write a letter to the old me.

Here goes:

Dear Marie,

Bless your heart. (Shaking my head.)

Right now you think that there is some covert plot to keep you single, broke and in a dead-end job. Not so. It’s simply not true. 

Sure. You aren’t where you want to be, but as long as there is breath in your body, you can do something about your situation.

So, stop whining. You are blessed. While you have time, youth and energy, USE THEM. One day you will long for leisure time to dream and to work on your craft. Trust me.

And, those guys who you worry will think you aren’t good enough won’t even matter.

As a matter of fact, that one you thought was your soulmate ends up doing a tour of duty… IN THE BIG HOUSE.

The one who was going to pursue higher ed is instead pursuing an hourly wage.

And, the one who seemed so in tuned with your art and poetry was, as it turns out, an artist himself – an ACTOR of the likes of Denzel Washington. He was ‘in turned’ alright, in tuned with lots and lots of other women. (Run like Flo Jo from him.)

When you finally chill out and focus on enjoying life and working to fulfill your purpose, that’s when you will meet HIM, the one.

Start now in working to better yourself so that you can become the woman you want your daughter to become. That’s right, I said “daughter” and she’s a cutie, too. And, you will also become the mother of a doe-eyed son who adores you.

Stop going to Gold’s Gym to troll for guys. Instead, take notes and try to fall in love with exercising. If you don’t, you (and your hips) will regret it.

By the way, eating deep dish meat lover’s pizza late at night really DOES catch up with you. Who would have thunk it?

And, you say you want to be a writer? Well, READ EVERY SINGLE BOOK you can get your hands on. And, write. Duh!

Spend time with your family. Make memories with them. Soon, you will find that life will be so busy that planning time together will be like arranging a visit with the president. (By the way, he’s black.)

Get out of your holding pattern  and stop waiting for things to happen. Use the breath and the energy God gave you to do something positive, and maybe even GREAT.

Everything is going to be OK. I promise. Life does get better, all in due time.