These days, just about everyone is talking about Bill Cosby and the allegations of sexual assault surrounding him. I have my opinions, and until now have kept them to myself as well as grumbled them to my long-suffering husband. But, after reading article after article and post after post of people demonizing the alleged victims of abuse, I cannot sit quiet any longer.
I wholeheartedly believe in the notion of being “innocent until proven guilty,” but I am also quick to believe a victim and not flick them off. What does criticizing the abused say about us as a society? What message does it send our children?
One of the most common rants I’ve heard is “Why did she wait 25 years to tell?” That’s a good question, and I can imagine why someone would…
Why wait? Because, even while the wounds are fresh and your skin still reeks from the perpetrator’s cologne, you are conditioned to ask yourself what YOU did to deserve it. And, you spend days and months and years toiling over that question.
Why wait? Because actors are credited for having the morals of their imaginary CHARACTERS, and people will quickly defend a sweater-wearing OB/GYN who lives on the fictional 10 Stigwood Ave. rather than go to bat for a real person living in this real world.
Why wait? Because, as the years go by, you not only get older, but stronger. You also get sick and tired of harboring secrets and covering up the sins of someone else.
Why wait? Because in the years since, you have probably given birth to a daughter or your daughter may have given birth to your granddaughter, and you never, ever want them to think it’s OK to keep silent.
Why wait? Because, after that amount of time, you refuse to let one more day pass or one more televised rerun air without joining the other alleged victims in the chorus of solidarity by saying, “Yes, It happened to ME TOO!!!!”